Q: “How do I say no if someone offers me alcohol?"
A: Jason, Age 18
When we enter middle school we do not think that far into the future—just the present, what is right in front of us. We all want people to like us, we want to have a lot of friends, we want to be popular—but most of all, we want to be “cool.”

For some, this means doing anything and everything to rebel against parental advice. For others, it is just going along with what the other “cool” kids are doing. Too often, however, this leads our youth—those with the greatest potential to contribute to society—into decisions that can ruin their lives. Underage drinking is one of the most common, and unfortunately, one of the most destructive of these decisions. Most do it to be “cool,” because everyone else is doing it.

But what really makes a person or a group “cool?” Are people “cool” because they consume alcohol illegally, because they are breaking the law? Is someone really “cool” because everyone else thinks so? I want to pose a premise: what if they are the ones who are not cool, and it is the law-abiding kids who are? Do you have to break the law to be seen as cool?

As an 18-year-old high school senior who has been exposed a great deal of rule breaking and rule following, I know it to be fact that the “coolest” kids are those who do not engage in underage alcohol consumption, who do not partake in illicit activities, and who do not do poorly in school—because these kids are smart enough that these destructive activities not only ruin one’s chance for success in the future, they ruin one’s ability to really be “cool.”

Adults always tell you how to say no to drugs and alcohol: avoid the situations where you are pressured into deciding; stall people who try to pressure you into a decision; or blatantly say ‘no.’ While these are good options, I have found that the best way to show that you are the “cool” one is to turn it around. Why don’t you, for a change, make your own culture, instead of following the template? Why don’t you set the standards for what is acceptable and what is not? Instead of following the “cool” crowd, why not make your own? Want to be respected and looked up to? Have enough courage not just to run away, not just to say no, but to set the example for others, that you are only really “cool” if you are too smart to start, if you have the wisdom to realize that if you make decisions that hurt yourself and others, there is no possible way that you can also be “cool.”

Set the example, show people what your “cool” is—and have people conform to you.